My brother has this theory that everyone has super powers, something trivial a person is UNCOMMONLY good at (my brother can tell when the air in any given room isn’t circulating), and he’s so far rejected all of my ideas for my potential super powers, either because the ability isn't sufficiently trivial (I read really fast) or uncommon (I am amazing at Snood). But I finally came up with one I think is definitely uncommon and certainly trivial: when I yawn, it’s not contagious.

I wish I could stop cutting myself with my food processor's blade. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to clean it.

We have these puzzles at work, these toddler puzzles, with five or six pieces, and even though they’re incredibly easy, I still have to THINK to figure them out, which always seems deeply embarrassing to me. I’ll be helping my kids clean up, and catch myself actually WORKING on a puzzle of five pieces, all of which are different sizes and are also outlined with different colors that match them to their places.

I flew from Amsterdam to Seattle yesterday, and on the last leg of the trip, from Chicago to Seattle, I fell asleep as soon as I sat down. The woman sitting next to me woke me up at some point to say, “We can put our seats back now.” When I looked at her, in TOTAL BLANK ASTONISHMENT, she said, “I thought that might make you more comfortable.” I responded by immediately falling back asleep, which I think was appropriate.

I am extremely paranoid about walking through wooded areas alone – and I consider “wooded areas” to be clusters of more than, say, seven trees. I recently discovered a new and pleasant way to walk to work, but it requires being in a wooded area for about forty seconds. I was really nervous about this, until this morning, when I saw a solitary elderly woman casually strolling out of the same wooded area. It’s possible she’s the most reckless and foolish elderly woman in the entire world, or maybe the most physically powerful, but it doesn’t seem likely.

This couple rides the bus with me every morning – I’m pretty familiar with all the people on my weekday morning bus, largely because everyone likes to sit in the same seats. This couple always sits in front of me (on the good side of the bus, but too close to the door for my taste). Until a few months ago, the man and the woman sometimes got on the bus at separate stops. (Then the man would sit somewhere ELSE; I think because he feared that the prime seat next to him would be filled before the woman got on the bus. So he chose the horrible middle seats with no windows.) Then they started always getting on at the same stop. Then this morning the woman was wearing a diamond ring on her left hand! I really, really, really had to fight the urge to congratulate them.

I bought this lunchbox last week, and it’s pink and roomy and includes four matching pink Tupperware containers of various sizes, and although it hasn’t solved ALL of my problems, it seems to have solved MOST of them.