My brother has this theory that everyone has super powers, something trivial a person is UNCOMMONLY good at (my brother can tell when the air in any given room isn’t circulating), and he’s so far rejected all of my ideas for my potential super powers, either because the ability isn't sufficiently trivial (I read really fast) or uncommon (I am amazing at Snood). But I finally came up with one I think is definitely uncommon and certainly trivial: when I yawn, it’s not contagious.

I wish I could stop cutting myself with my food processor's blade. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to clean it.

We have these puzzles at work, these toddler puzzles, with five or six pieces, and even though they’re incredibly easy, I still have to THINK to figure them out, which always seems deeply embarrassing to me. I’ll be helping my kids clean up, and catch myself actually WORKING on a puzzle of five pieces, all of which are different sizes and are also outlined with different colors that match them to their places.

I flew from Amsterdam to Seattle yesterday, and on the last leg of the trip, from Chicago to Seattle, I fell asleep as soon as I sat down. The woman sitting next to me woke me up at some point to say, “We can put our seats back now.” When I looked at her, in TOTAL BLANK ASTONISHMENT, she said, “I thought that might make you more comfortable.” I responded by immediately falling back asleep, which I think was appropriate.