I made these feelings puppets for my class, like the idea is to teach toddlers about feelings, so they’ll say “I’m angry!” instead of hitting another child with a shovel. I’m not sure this ever actually works, but we’re supposed to try. So I made three puppets and assigned each puppet an emotion, and then I named the puppets after my parents and my brother. That's why my job is amazing.

I don’t wish to over-stress the point about what a visually unobservant moron I am, but I’ve lived in my apartment for three months now, and I only just realized that my bedroom has a different heating dial than my living room. I guess this is my brother’s point about how I don’t think like a person. A person would think, Gee. It’s much colder in my bedroom than my living room. There must be two different heating systems operating these two rooms. I should investigate further. I was just sad it was so cold in my bedroom.

I have to sing fairly often at work, and I really, really don’t sing well. Most of the time, no one seems to notice or care, but every once in a while I’ll be singing to my toddlers, and they’ll look at me with expressions that can only be described as dismayed.